Your problem with feelings

leadership Nov 19, 2020

"People will forget what you say and will forget what you do... but they will never forget how you made them feel" is a quite well-known quote from Maya Angelou, a US-American author, professor and civil rights activist.

This is always relevant when you want to get others to act or to influence them. And that is one of your main tasks as a leader.

You can talk as much as you want, even do things however, the influence on others will always be limited compared to when you trigger certain feelings in them.

An example: If others feel safe with you to say what they think and dare to try something new without the fear of sarcastic comments, they will do so. When people feel a new beginning with the prospect of new fascinating experiences, they will go the extra mile.

The biggest problem is often that people are afraid that their feelings may be hurt, that the security was only apparent, that the vision was not meant seriously. In other words: that their feelings will be hurt and they will be disappointed.

If this seems too "soft" for leadership to you now, I can assure you that these are exactly the "hard facts" that make projects and strategies fail.

Here are three short ideas about how you can use the power of feelings for your leadership:
  1. The why. For each change, clarify with your team why it feels better when goals or visions have been achieved. What is different for each individual there? Why is this good and important?
  2. Standards. How do you want to think and act? What standards do you set for yourself? Standards are always connected with feelings. Examples: We want to have fun in what we do. Each of us takes full responsibility for the consequences of our actions. Everyone tries to understand the others.
  3. Successes. Most people do not appreciate successes enough. Why is this important? Successes and failures trigger feelings. Therefore, consistent recognition (even on a small scale) is a very simple lever for good feelings.

If you, as a leader, also want to use the energy of feelings for better leadership and thereby increase your success, sign up for my Leadership Coaching. More information ➔ here.

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