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🏆 Why You Should Stop Wanting To Win

Even if it sounds surprising: we often get in our own way because we want to win too much.

And even worse: we frustrate others with it. This is especially significant if you are a leader.

What do I mean by that?

Well, there is a delicate line between wanting to win for the sake of the cause (because it really does get us better results) and wanting to win for the sake of our own ego.

We all have an ego to a greater or lesser degree - no exception.

In most cases this is positive, because it is reflected in healthy self-confidence and also helps us to assert important interests.

However, the ego also leads us to want to win on issues that are actually unimportant. Sometimes there is no other reason to stand up for ourselves than to satisfy our ego.

Remember the last argument you had: to what extent was it really about the cause (and was arguing the best way to do that?) and to what extent was it about our own ego, which you saw hurt?

In conflicts, ego almost always plays the bigger role than the matter at hand.

Consequently, you can become a significantly better leader and can achieve significantly more if you stop trying to win too much - in other words, if you put your ego on hold.

Here are 3 steps on how to set your ego aside and become a more influential leader as a result (because it's anything but easy):

  1. Clarity about your priorities.

    In order for you to decide if the outcome is worth fighting for, you must first know your priorities.

    This is one of the biggest weaknesses of most leaders: they have far too many "priorities."

    What results is that you want to get your way on issues that just aren't among your top priorities.

    Tip: Write down your top priorities for the day every morning, your top priorities for the week every Monday morning, your top priorities for the month every first of the month, and so on.

  2. How important is the point of contention really?

    Once you have continuously identified your top priorities in the first step, you can check for each discussion: Is this one of my top priorities? If not, then stop asserting your point of view.

    You certainly know situations in which you have made a strong emotional commitment, but the next day wondered why it was so important to you.

    That's when your ego spoke.

    If, on the other hand, you ask yourself in every discussion whether it really contributes to achieving your goals, you can probably save your energy 80 percent of the time.

  3. Give in on unimportant things.

    Based on steps 1 and 2, you can now give in on any discussion that does not contribute to achieving your top goals.

    Initially, this requires focused practice. This is because we all too quickly get into situations where our ego wants to get the upper hand.

    So when you catch yourself in an emotional discussion, take a deep breath, ask yourself the question from Step 2, and end your involvement if necessary.

    The result: you will save an enormous amount of energy, you will have a positive influence on others, you will be more focused on what is really important, and you will have more joy as a result.

So here you have three steps you can take to keep your ego in check and thereby further increase your success. This requires practice. That's why ➔ Coaching is often extremely helpful for this. ➔ Just get in touch to discuss the options for this.

 

➡️ Next steps:

Whenever you're ready, check out my ➔ coaching programs and set up ➔ a 15min appointment here to get to know each other.

 

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