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😖 How To Frustrate Others Less

leadership Feb 03, 2022

That could well be a resolution for this year: frustrate other people less. 

It may seem a bit negative, but it is positive nonetheless. Because we all frustrate others - and often without realizing it.

This manifests itself in the fact that others avoid us, do not listen to us properly, do things differently than we imagine, and so on. 

This issue is as relevant in your family (or have you never frustrated your teenagers, if you have any?) as it is, of course, to your leadership in the professional environment. 

For the purists of psychology, here's a clarification: you can't frustrate others directly, but you can certainly influence them so that they become frustrated.

Either way, the crucial question remains:  

How can you frustrate others less and thereby increase your positive influence? Here are three often overlooked levers:
  1. Always knowing something better. Do you actually know how frustrating it is for others when you constantly add something to their ideas and their results and know something better? You think that is your job as a leader? No, unfortunately this is a wrong track: every time you improve someone, you might have made it 10% better, but at the same time lost 50% of the person's commitment. My tip: be very aware of where improvement is really needed and where it is not. And then just don't do it.
  2. Respond directly to questions. This is also something that most people don't think about. Because every time you respond directly to questions posed to you, you deprive the other person of the opportunity to come up with the best solution themselves. What should you do instead? Quite simply, ask open and motivating counter-questions that lead the other person to a solution themselves. Is this always possible? No, of course not. But more often than you think!
  3. Too much tolerance. This may be as surprising to you as the previous two points. It can be very frustrating for others if you don't show a "clear edge" but always tolerate exceptions to the standards of behavior. The reason: they then don't know where they stand. This is frustrating.

If you're thinking, phew, I'm going to have to change my behavior, you're not alone. That's actually extremely difficult, because you're often working against behavioral patterns that have been in place for decades.

Have you ever thought about coaching? That brings effects in a short time. ➡️ More info here.

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